While passion lasts
PhaedrusYou know about my circumstances, and you have heard why I think it would benefit us both if this came about. I ask you not to deny me what I seek simply because I am not in love with you. Lovers regret the good they have done as soon as their desire ceases. For those who are not in love there is no time when they ought to change their minds: they do good freely, not under compulsion, having considered their own affairs and measured their actions against their means.
Lovers also look at the damage they have done to their own affairs for love, at the good they have done and at the trouble it has cost them. Adding it all up, they reckon they have long since repaid their beloved in full. Those who are not in love can neither plead that they neglected their affairs for this reason, nor count up past troubles, nor blame you for quarrels with their families. With so many grievances removed, they have nothing left but willingly to do whatever they think will please you. And further: if lovers deserve such high regard because they say they love those they desire above all others, and are ready to make enemies of everyone else in word and deed to please their beloved, then, if they speak the truth, it is easy to see that they will value whomever they love next still more. Plainly, if their new beloveds wish it, they will even do harm to the old ones.
Besides, how can it be sensible to give yourself to someone afflicted by a condition which no experienced person would even attempt to avert? Lovers themselves admit that they are ill rather than in control of themselves: they know their judgement is poor, but cannot master themselves. When they regain their senses, how could they think well of decisions made in that condition? Moreover, if you choose the best among lovers, your choice is from a few; if you choose the person best suited to you among all the others, it is from many. So among the many there is far more hope of finding someone worthy of your friendship.